Nine of wands, and the coping that worked too well

WEDNESDAY, 30 SEPTEMBER

the nine of wands is the card of the last stretch, and it arrives for women who have been coping so competently that nobody has thought to ask.

there is a tiredness that sleep does not reach. you get eight hours and wake with the same weight on, because what is tired is the part of you that has been on duty without a break for long enough to forget there was ever another setting.

and the coping turns into a posture. shoulders up, braced for the next thing, answering fine in a tone that ends the question. it worked. that is the trouble with it. it worked so well that the people who would gladly help have no idea there is anything to help with.

wednesday, the sag in the middle of the week, is when this is most noticeable and least dramatic. nothing has to collapse for it to count, and being nearly through something is a long way from being all right during it.

what is worth leaning into today: letting one person have the true answer instead of the short one.

what is worth staying away from: waiting until it is bad enough to justify saying something. that bar moves upward every time you get near it.

my advice for today: put one thing down today. an actual thing, not an intention. the cancelled errand, the job somebody else can do badly, the evening with nothing in it at all.

when somebody asks how you are this week, what is the answer you are not giving them. you can give it to me instead.