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option one. the thing you would start if you knew it would work out
it has a shape in your head already. you know roughly what it would look like, and you have probably known for a while.
the condition you have put on it, knowing it will work out, is the one condition nobody ever gets. so it may help to change the question. instead of will this work, try what would i learn in the first month. a month is short and you can stop after it. and the woman who tried for a month knows something the woman who waited never will, whichever way it goes.
option two. the question you have not asked because of what the answer might be
a question for a doctor, a sister, an employer, or yourself. you can feel the shape of it, and you have been walking carefully around it.
not knowing feels safer because it leaves every answer possible, and it also keeps you in the waiting room, carrying both answers at once. the card makes no promise about which answer you will get. what tends to be true is that a known answer, even a hard one, is easier to plan around than a fog. if the stakes are high, take someone you trust with you when you ask.
option three. the plan that keeps waiting for one more piece of information
you have read about it, asked about it, saved the articles. every time you are nearly ready, there is one more thing worth finding out.
research is real work, and it is also a very comfortable place to stay. one way to tell the difference is to ask whether the next piece of information would actually change your decision. if it would not, you already have enough. set a date by which you will either begin or let it go, and put it in the calendar where you will see it.
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