The Queen of Cups and the grief that keeps strange hours

WEDNESDAY, 7 OCTOBER

the queen of cups is the card of holding a feeling all the way through, without tidying it up and without being swept off by it, and it turns up on a wednesday, in the sag of the week, when grief tends to catch people off guard.

grief keeps strange hours. it can stay quiet through the anniversary you braced for and then arrive in the supermarket, in front of a brand of biscuits somebody used to buy, on an ordinary wednesday afternoon.

what usually happens next is an apology, mostly to yourself. it has been years, you should be past this, it is only a packet of biscuits. so the feeling gets folded up and put away before it has finished.

this card suggests letting it finish. a few minutes of missing someone properly is often what lets the rest of the day go on with a little more ease.

what is worth leaning into today: letting a memory have its full minute when it arrives, wherever you happen to be standing.

what is worth staying away from: putting a timetable on grief, yours or anybody else's. there is no date by which missing someone is supposed to have expired.

my advice for today: if something ordinary brings someone back today, say their name, out loud or on paper. names that get spoken stay part of the house.

what is the ordinary object that brings someone back for you. the object on its own is enough.