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MONDAY, 2 NOVEMBER
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TODAY'S CARD
TWO OF WANDS
II
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the two of wands is the card of standing in your own life and looking out from it, and it turns up on the first monday after the clocks went back, when it is dark before dinner.
living alone has two faces, and this time of year shows you both. there is the freedom of an evening that answers to nobody and a bed you get to yourself. and there is the long stretch after five o'clock when the house goes very quiet and you notice it.
this comes up often. women who have their evenings to themselves treat them as something to get through instead of something to shape. the television goes on for company, the phone comes to bed, and the night simply happens.
the card is about deciding what your own territory looks like, and the evening is part of that territory. you are allowed to enjoy the quiet house, and you are also allowed to arrange it so the quiet works for you.
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what is worth leaning into today: giving your evening a shape you chose. a set time when the screens go off, a lamp instead of the big light, a warm drink, your own way of winding down.
what is worth staying away from: letting the night drift until you fall asleep in front of something you were not watching. drifting rarely leads to the rest you were hoping for.
my advice for today: pick one small evening habit that belongs only to you and begin it tonight. the habit matters less than the feeling of having chosen it.
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what does your evening look like once the light goes. i would like to hear what you have made of it, or what you would like to make of it.
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/ a reflection
the bed that is all yours
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for many women the strangest part of living alone is the nights. the days fill themselves. the nights are when the other side of the bed is quiet.
some people keep to their side for years, out of habit or loyalty or something they cannot name. others spread out on the first night and feel guilty about how good it feels.
sleep itself often changes too. it gets lighter, or it starts arriving in pieces. that can be the season or simply the quiet, and it is usually worth getting curious about rather than simply putting up with.
i keep wondering how you sleep now, compared with before. and whether the night has started to feel like yours, or still feels like something borrowed.
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tell me which side of the bed you sleep on now. it says more than people think, and i am curious.
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